Minor Heart Attack

I completely thought that I had lost an SD card that had a ton of pictures from Mikayla's 1st birthday on it! I about died! Granted, it was only "lost" for about 20 minutes, but my heart was pounding so hard I swear it was about to jump through my chest! Ever have one of those moments over pictures? Even if the pictures were gone, the memories would still be there, but the best thing about pictures is that they can remind me of those moments I forgot. Like this:

Nobody was singing to her or anything, she is crying b/c she wanted to grab the candle and that mean Mimi wouldn't let her!

Letter to my girls

My babies,
I sit here watching Mama Mia right now, crying my eyes out as they sing the song "slipping through my fingers." Sometimes, it is hard for me to imagine that you will be any older than you both are now. Then when I look back to pictures from just a year ago, I realize that you have grown up so much already, and right under my nose. I know that I will say "you grow up so fast," so many times during your childhood that you will both want to roll your eyes and cover your ears with a pillow, but it is a truth that you won't understand until you have children of your own. It is moments like these, when I feel like tomorrow I am going to wake up and it will be your wedding day, that I see how much time I waste with you two, and how I need to hold every moment precious. I want to always sit and drink hot chocolate with you, play candyland and lose on purpose, listen to Morgan sing your songs about puppies, watch Mikayla toddle around the house calling for her shoes, snuggle you both every morning while we watch cartoons,...I want things to be like this always. One day, you won't want to play games with me anymore, and you won't sing in front of me and definitely not about puppies, you'll be looking for your heels on your way out for a date instead of your light up sneakers, you'll want me to drop you off a block or ten away from the movie theater...it makes me so sad to know that it is inevitable, you will grow up. If that has to happen, if you MUST grow up, I want you both to be the most wonderful, confident women who have the most amazing lives. I want you to have dreams, tons of them, and follow each and every one, even if they are crazy and even if they mean you leaving me (for a while.) You don't want to have to look back with regret later on in life, you'll want to look back with pride at how much you've accomplished and how many fun adventures you've had. It will probably be the saddest day of my life when you two leave the house, but it will also be the proudest as it means that I will have done my job and you'll feel ready to take on the world. You two already so amazing and I couldn't be luckier to have you both as my daughters. Just promise me that every once in a while, maybe after your inevitable teenage years of rebellion, that you'll still come snuggle with me, drink a cup of hot chocolate and play a few games of candyland. Oh, and when you do find the man of your dreams and get married, lets have a moment before you do, just us two. I didn't really get that with my mom, my own fault, but it is something I regret as I know it would have meant a lot to both of us. Like I said before, you don't want regrets. You two girls are the best things that have ever happened to me and I love you so incredibly much.

But please, try to stay little, at least for a little while longer?

Love always,
Mommy

Willing to trade baby sister for yellow puppy

Morgan has been on a kick lately of wanting " a yellow puppy like woof-woof (her stuffed animal) that barks." She lets us know it all the time, and even lets out a soft whimper and a single tear will roll down her cheek, just far enough that she has to lift her pretty pink glasses and wipe it away with her sleeve. It is this terribly pitiful picture that just makes me want to break down and go get her a puppy. However, I'm allergic and lately, the allergy has been getting worse, so no such luck with getting an inside dog. Michael doesn't want to get a dog if it is going to live outside, plus we have no room in our yard for a dog at all. Also, we really can't afford any extra family members at this point in time, so really, a puppy is not in the cards. PS, don't even mention a hypo-allergenic dog, I've been through this with Michael and he thinks they're all ugly or "tiny yappy dogs."

Tonight my darling 4 year old, my husband and I were playing "tent buddies," where we all sit under a tent made of a blanket and two rolling chairs in the office and hang out. Morgan then started telling us about how she wanted a puppy like woof-woof, along with the aforementioned whimper and tear. Michael responded to her with "well, we can't afford a dog right now, but maybe if we sell baby sister we could get one." Morgan sniffled and without missing a beat said "yeah, we could sell baby sister and then get a puppy like woof-woof."  A little surprised that she was so quick to slap a price tag on Mikayla, I said, "no, but you would miss Mikayla if she wasn't here," assuming I'd get nod and maybe a "yeah, you're right." Instead, "Yeah, but then I'd miss a puppy, too." .

Morgan the Fashionista

So, Morgan has never shown much interest in picking out her own clothes or really caring at all what she wore until recently. She has been getting up before Michael and I and getting dressed in her room, resulting in some CRAZY outfits!!! Not crazy as in her underpants end up on her head or anything, but just the craziest mix of colors and patterns and oh so many layers, and she fells GORGEOUS. I mean she walks around giggling to herself and dancing around the halls. If you tell her she looks pretty, she gets the proudest look on her face and curtsies as she says "thank you." It is so sweet. The thing is, I really didn't want to take her out looking like that, so the first couple of times I changed her into one of her new cute outfits we got for Christmas and she got SO upset. Finally, on new years day, she came up with this outfit, complete with a halloween headband and a skirt that went to my sister's old dance costume.

I did not have the heart to tell her to change again, she was just so happy and you could tell she felt like a million bucks. So off  to our neighbor's new year's party we went, crazy outfit and all! Of course everyone knew what was going on, and they all smiled and told her she looked beautiful, which made her even happier. Now, I don't have much of a fashion sense these days, so I'm not going to coach her in her artistic ideas on clothes, but I'm hoping to at least get the lesson of matching clothes across. My new plan is to search for the perfect outfit every night, together, before she goes to bed. So that she will wake up in the morning and feel proud that she picked out a beautiful outfit, that matches...with a little help from Mommy.